I'm A Single Guy and My Place Looks Great
"The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously." --Nicholas Murray Butler
A man's home is, indeed, his castle
The title of this piece is true. Men and women alike come into my environment and they like what they see. Most women do not agree with my style, but they do not deny the results. Men just go "Awesome!"
The belief that men cannot decorate their homes is a myth perpetuated by women. What they really mean is men cannot decorate like women.
This is absolutely true.
The reason for this is because of the difference in the ways men and women think. Most women decorate in "Form Over Function" mode. Men do the complete opposite. I came to this realization after cooking in a couple of restaurants. A professional kitchen is set-up for ease of use, convenience and speed. Pots and pans are hung close to where they are used - easily accessible - and the same goes for cooking utensils, herbs, spices and seasonings. Everything is stored within easy reach.
I have never understood the accepted belief that men are generally not creative or artistic. If you look at the plethora of professional artistic fields you will find a predominant amount of talented men: Painters, sculptors, chefs, musicians, carpenters, craftsmen, actors, swordsmiths, directors, designers, draftsmen, tailors, photographers, writers, jewelers, metal workers, graphic designers, Webmasters, engineers, landscapers, animators, botanists, glass blowers...
The list goes on and on...
The Functional Kitchen
The first thing I do when setting up a new kitchen is to choose the wall closest to the stove and hang my pots, pans and cooking utensils there. If there's a cupboard above the stove, I take the doors off. This is where I keep herbs, spices, vinegars, baking soda, etc. Then I take the doors off the cupboard closest to the stove. This is where my plates, glasses and cups are kept (be sure to store these doors where you can find them as you'll want to put them back on when you move). Taking the doors off of these cupboards extends your work area, opens up your kitchen and makes it look bigger. I, personally, love the way a kitchen set up in this way looks. And even if you're not a chef, or even a very good cook, a kitchen like this will make it look like you are... and may even inspire you to do a little more cooking.
I knew I wanted to find brick wallpaper for the wall on which I had my pots and pans hanging. This gives any kitchen a very cool, "Italian kitchen" ambience. But I was having no luck finding any wallpaper that I liked - or even close. Then, while I was walking through Home Depot, headed toward the Wall Decor section, I was stopped in the flooring section. There, were numerous laminate brick and rock flooring samples of all styles, textures and colors.
The light goes on!
I picked out a Porto Alegre Tuscany Canyon style I liked, purchasing just a small amount - enough for one small wall, took it home and put it up with a staple gun. It was foamy; easy to cut and went up easily. Over this rock-covered wall I hung (using medium-sized brass nails with smallish heads. Hooks pose a problem when putting things away and taking them down) all my cooking tools: Skillets, pots, lids, and cooking utensils of all sorts (it helps if these match - mine are all black and of the same brand).
It looked Great! And I did it myself... for a very reasonable price.
When I hang pictures in the kitchen they are typically pictures of restaurants, herbs posters or menus. The internet is a great resource for this or pick up menus from your favorite restaurant (most will give you one, if asked). And they're framed, or course. A new idea I've been thinking about is pictures of blossoms or plants which create herbs, spices or foods, such as oyster mushrooms, saffron flowers, etc. ... It's still in the idea phase.
The kitchen is also where I keep any recipe or food-related books; Breads, sauces, How to Cook Everything, Nestle's Chocolate Cook Book (I'm not lying!), etc. They're either on a shelf put up specifically for them, or in one of the open cupboards.
Pictures at an Exhibition
This is the easy part. In a nut shell: Hang posters, paintings, photos, etc at eye level, and hang them straight across - gallery style, and always in a frame. Non-framed pictures, of any kind, stuck on a wall is for teenagers. You want your pictures at eye level (or even a couple of inches lower) because 1: They're easier for you and guests to see at this level. And 2: The lower you hang your pictures, the higher your ceiling will look. It's a cool optical illusion and works in any size room.
Please don't "stagger" your pictures. It is grossly outdated and looks ridiculous. And the 60's thing of hanging pictures close to the ceiling and staggering them if there's more than one just never seemed to go away with some people, did it?
I learned this trick after visiting the incredible gallery at The Huntington Library in Pasadena, California. The concept was as clear as day to me. I could easily see everything hanging on the walls - and I was very young and short at the time. It made sense - which I liked, and it was regal looking - which I also liked.
Something I've found to be true is that larger framed pictures look the most impressive. The bigger the better. Even in smaller rooms. And I found every one of my large wooden frames at yard sales.
I was given a really cool T-shirt one year by a roommate. He got it for me for my birthday at a stupidly-overpriced hippie shop. It was acid-washed purple and on the front was a realistic-looking painting of two poison-dart frogs. It was an awesome shirt and I loved it. The problem was, it was extra large. So after hanging on to it for a couple of years and wearing it now and then to laze around the house in, I got the inspiration to display it. I cut the front away from the rest of the shirt, stretched it onto the backing of a large-sized frame I had and hung it on the wall. I've received more compliments on that frogs picture than I have on anything else on my walls.
Try to be consistent, where your frames are concerned, in any one room. Decide what you like best - be it pewter, wood, stainless steel, whatever - and buy frames only made of that material. If you already have a bunch of random frames but would like for them to match, get some spray paint and paint them.
Swords
Swords look great hanging on the wall, but the same rule applies as with pictures. Don't hang a sword without a display frame or a sword rack.
If you've got a fireplace and only one blade, it must be hung over the fireplace. If you do not, a Scotsman will come find you and give you "a right-good thrashing."
It's TRADITION, ya poor bastard!
Let the Light In
Interior decorators will spend a lot of time, effort and your money on "window treatments." Personally, the only thing I need over a window are blinds ... horizontal blinds, please. When vertical blinds are pulled open, you lose about a foot of your window.
The only thing I use curtains for is to enlarge the look of a window. I Buy a sturdy curtain rod that's about two feet longer than the window is wide and hang the curtains at the very edges of this rod, making sure they cover the edges of the window frame. The advantages of this are two-fold. With no curtains covering any part of my window, I get all the light from said window. With the curtains extended a foot on either side, it looks like my window is two feet longer than it really is.
If you want to try this, your curtains have to be at least as long, or longer, than the window is tall. This also works with shutters, but they should be roughly the same height (or you can use two sets) as the window. With shutters, wood looks great but you can paint them any color to match your decor. Hang the shutters right against the outside edges of your window frame. Obviously, you can't use shutters and curtains.
Mirrors
Mirrors make a room look bigger. The bigger the mirror and the more of them there are, the greater the affect. Mirrors also reflect light so you don't need to use as much electricity.
The coolest affect I've ever seen done with mirrors was in an issue of Apartment Life Magazine (way back when I was married and Pong was just being launched). Three tall and framed arched mirrors (see left) were placed on an otherwise empty wall. They were hung so that they stood flat on the floor, were perfectly spaced and appeared to be at least six feet tall. This gave the illusion of another room on the other side of an arched and columned divider.
Make it Your Own
If you were to walk into my home the first thing you would say is "You sure can tell who lives here." I know this from experience. My environment reflects the things I do and the things I'm interested in and is always evolving. There are swords on the wall, paintings which my brother (who is a federal inmate) did specifically for me, a home gym or work-out equipment in the room - where I use them while watching TV. There is dark polished wood and brass everywhere you look, because I like dark polished wood and brass.
Natural light floods the room from the wide-open windows and is reflected from the numerous mirrors. The books I've read, or am in the process of reading, are in the bookcase and hanging somewhere, in a frame, is either a Zildjian cymbal or a framed poster of the latest V-drums (electronic/computerized drums) I've been drooling over, and there are always a pair of drumsticks (Pro Mark - Jazz) close at hand.
The computer and the TV are both prominent in the room because both are always in use, and the smells of coffee and cooking food are frequently in the air. You're also sure to be subjected to the scents of Dragon Slayer essential oil (patchouli/amber/musk) and that of a wax tart which is typically melting in the dragon & wizard tart warmer. The scent is usually sage & citrus (my favorite) but I'll often experiment with a new scent if I come across one that sounds interesting -- I don't think I'll ever completely get over a few choice trappings of hippie-ism. And, I'm okay with that.
It is a warm, clean (OK, maybe I don't dust as often as I should), friendly place to be.
